Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Rhubarb

Rhubarb, Round 2

Most people with a little dirt in their yard grow rhubarb,
but there are those with no dirt who need to buy the annoyingly ubiquitous rhubarb.
Or those who can no longer cultivate the dirt they have.
Rhubarb,  Round 1

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Just Sorta Creepy

The inside of the produce cooler.
Produce has to share with beverages.
Sometimes produce has territorial wars with beverages.
I find them very diverting.
It starts with some naive beverage guy moving his beer
into the Produce Only Zone.
I move it back.
And he moves it over.
And I move it back.
And he moves it over.
And I move it back.
etc etc etc
Until notes get posted
and lines get drawn.
BUT
no one can stand against my
persistence
and my
focus
and my
fervor.

And then?

I WIN.

Becuase I am vastly underemployed
and need lots of diverting 
to get through a day successfully.

Friday, May 17, 2013

Fiddleheads

It is Fiddlehead season.

Where Banana Boxes Come From/Intro To The Produce Department

There are lots of local people,
farmers, mini-farmers, and just plain regular folks,
who deliver seasonal produce to us.
So far, none of them have figured out how to grow
local, organic, artisan Vermont bananas.
So... 
We have two main produce suppliers
to bring us bananas.

One is a big restaurant/etc supplier out of Albany, NY.
They deliver a whole lotta crap,
like raw meat and fish,
towering stacks of containers for prepared food,
baked goods, cheese, drink mixes, sauces, dressings,
etc-etc-etc-they-seem-to-keep-everything-in-their-warehouses,
and, of course, produce.
Stuff from them often seems like it fell out the back of the truck
on the delivery run.

The other is a medium size produce supplier
based somewhere in Vermont.
Stuff from them is sometimes rotten,
like once last summer we got a case of rotten moldy broccoli.
YUCK!!!
It is not easy to forget something like that.
They both deliver through the red door.
(Remind me to tell you about the delivery doors sometime.)
The driver stacks the produce across from the Produce Room
next to the produce cooler.
Note the bananas on the bottom of the stack. 
Now you know where banana boxes come from.

The Staff Person In Charge of Produce (Anonymous By Request,) got tired of trying to explain to all our various produce suppliers which was produce cooler.








In this neighborhood of the store, there is the Produce Cooler, the Meat Cooler (sometimes referred to as the Walk-in,) the Dairy Cooler, and the Deep Freeze Walk-in, so she painted a chalkboard on the produce cooler door and chalked it up with pretty letters. She did that becuase she is clever and has initiative.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Bananas -- I Have A Lot To Say About Bananas

We get
LOTS
of bananas delivered.

They are pretty, aren't they?
And we sell them 10 cents cheaper per pound
than the nearest grocery store!

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

A Surprise!!

Of the MOST HUGE sort!!
It's a rare sighting
of the
former
Grocery Czar!
VERNE'S BROTHER!
 In spite of his abdication
he is still in charge of
certain fermented beverages.

He was hanging around all morning
doing Czar-like things in the office.
Most Mysterious.

Wishful Thinking



See? Someone even thoughtfully supplied a connection to...

The Power Box

Monday, May 13, 2013

Dog Fish Head

Really??
Scratch and Sniff Beer?
Who are those people at Dog Fish Head?

Pearl Street Beverage

I get so used to seeing things in the cellar at work that when I actually do get out into the world...
... it seems sort of shocking to see these things.
like... EVERYONE knows about that stuff?

Sunday, May 12, 2013

The Banana Box Thing

You would think it was a simple thing
to tell you about a banana box lid, right?
BUT
the story of Banana Boxes is a big story to tell,
because it involves
WOOD.
And the story of
WOOD,
in relation to the store,
IS HUGE.

It is so huge that I have been avoiding it,
although I find it endlessly fascinating.

I haven't even shown you all the stoves in the cellar, ffs.

See? I am starting to feel overwhelmed this very moment.
I guess I just have to go slowly, in parts.
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
Chapter I - The Glut
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ 
Once Upon A Time
there was a banana box lid surplus.
 They lived on the wide cellar stairs near the produce room.
 It was an impressive surplus.

There were banana box lids stashed in strange places, places about which, at the time, I knew nothing.

In fact, I knew very little about banana box lid usage, although, exhibiting signs of the premier human character flaw, I thought I knew it ALL.


You couldn't help noticing all those banana box lids choking the wide cellar stairs and stuffed in strange cellar closets. What was the destiny of all these lids? Was supply going to exceed available on-site storage?

I had my eye on The Situation.

Once in a while some noob would improperly dispose of a banana box lid. And we would all be like, "OMG! WHO MURDERED THE BANANA BOX LID?? Call the CSIs! Stay back! This is a crime scene!" Banana box lids are protected by Dan & Whit's Law, which is NEVER questioned. If you are supposed to save banana box lids then, no matter how many you see around you, you WILL save banana box lids.

Then gradually, without my really noticing it, the surplus began to dwindle.

And one day this winter, about a year after the glut, a Very Shocking Thing happened. The wide cellar stairs were empty. There were NO BANANA BOX LIDS ON THE STAIRS AT ALL.

NONE.

And THAT was a destiny moment.

Where had they all gone?
Why had they all gone?
Who was using them?
And for what?

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Seasonal Selections

We are unloading ice deliveries again.
George asked me to make this sign last summer.
I tried to make it really nice
becuase I like him.
George is in charge of ice.
He puts on his heavy coat,
his green and black plaid wool cap,
 his gloves
and if someone is there to hear him he says,
"Time to count the ice cubes."
And into the walk-in he goes.
It is cold in there.
(You probably don't remember that George is Dan's father
and the original Dan's son.
George is semi-retired
so that means he only works about 60 hours a week now.)
We also have an ice machine.
It is by the green door so you have seen it lots of times,
you just didn't know you were looking at it.
Story of my life, right?
Anyway, teenage boys have to bag up the 10 lb. ice bags
and then stock this cooler with them.
Ice is Taxable Grocery.
You have to know that if you are cashiering.
The 5 lb. bags come in the sleeves we get from
Associated Grocers of New England.
I will tell you about them sometime.
AG deliveries used to be very fun.
Now they are just -- 
in the Brave New James-less Post-Verne World --
annoying.

Friday, May 10, 2013

Soul Economy

You would not believe the number of expired power bars I found on the power bar shelf.
BUT... GUESS WHAT??
All the expired jello was SOLD!
I SWEAR!!
Not one box was left in the Half Price Gulag.

Cookie Cam: Up The Rabbit Hole

What it is like to be a Banana Box Lid full of cookies:
There is a lot of waiting involved.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

The Story of Black James, the Necromancer

This is the cookie eating place.
It is right below the Jello Condos.
I inherited this place from James.
But James didn't eat cookies here --
 he drank vodka.
When he left I cleaned up after him and found several of his bottles. One was a 750 ml size and it was half full. Verne's brother took that one home.

I used to keep a guest crate here but when Verne left I took it away. Verne and I would hide out here together and do cool stuff like taste test the fake maple syrups and try to carve stuff into the wooden posts.

Boys are fun.

Anyway, I saved one of the vodka bottles so I would have something to remind me of James and all the fun times we had together.
This is how it looks now:
Last November it looked like this:
 but someone disappeared my cardboard intervention.
I think it was George.

 This is James and his diamond earring:
I inherited the cereal aisle from James. I still miss him.
James inherited the cereal aisle from Larry.
Larry worked at the store for 54 years.
He retired shortly after I started working at The Store.
Larry used to hang around the produce room telling me stories,
like the one about his dog named Heck.
I never took a pic of Larry.
I hadn't gotten that bored yet.

Cookie Cam: Through The Green Door

Cookie Cam went rogue.


Sunday, May 5, 2013

Ye Olde Groceree Carte Recentle Repairede With Plexiglasse

The Cart.
It gives me a warm cozy feeling.
In the old days I assume it was used with those old boxes
for shopping by customers.
Now we use the boxes for hauling recycle bottles down to the cellar
and groceries up from the cellar.
And we use the cart for pushing around
anything that is push-around-able.
This is under the bottle bell, across from the blue bench.
See the Moving Ramp? Doesn't it just scream "COME ON DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE!!" at you?

The Moving Ramp: Unedited Footage

Contains:
One Handed Pole-ing,
Falling Cookies,
Gloom,
and
Shaking.
BUT --
it demonstrates how I get cookies upstairs.


Friday, May 3, 2013

Verne says hi

This was Tuesday, the day after his 21st birthday.
I was up in the office making out the Specialty Order.
He celebrated legal drinking quite heavily.
As did his brother before him.
(Not that it ever stopped him BEFORE he was 21.)
Did you know his brother was Grocery Czar before me?
Did you know I used to work for their mother as a baker?
And Cookie Delivery Driver?
She told me GREAT stories about them.
That was back when they were in high school.
So when my daughter started 9th grade the first thing I told her was,
"STAY AWAY FROM THOSE VERNE BROTHERS!!!"
But really, they are two great boys.
"OK, fine, take my picture."
"KNOCK IT OFF ALREADY!!"
Dan took this one becuase he got sick of me.
(He stopped by again Wednesday
and told me he was STILL recovering.)

The Jello Underground

Where the Jello Revolutionary Front waits...
Jello Condos.


... to liberate Jello Patriots in captivity.

Thursday, May 2, 2013