The Spiritual Significance Of Laughter or How Many Divine God-heads Does It Take To Change a Light Bulb?

Once upon a time, way back before the Big Bang, god-ness was the only thing there was. God-ness was different than nothing, but god-ness was not something either— it was just god-ness having god-thoughts about god-stuff.

That went on for a few billion years. Not that there was measurable time. Time is a post-Bang concept, of course. So is measuring, for that matter.

God-ness was interested in nothingness as a theoretical concept and recognized that if there was no “something” then “nothing” could not exist. God-ness passed a few more billion years contemplating this juxtaposition of nothingness and something-ness. Then god-ness thought up a way to make stuff exist. God-ness invented the Big Bang.

God-ness then took another long time considering the good and evil which would accompany the advent of materialism, and pondering whether or not existence was worth always feeling late, once measurable time came on the scene.

You’d think materialism and time would be enough to stop god-ness from using the Big Bang, but even the divine god-head can’t resist a new toy. Things got really fun when it was time for the Bang because god-ness thought of something so funny that laughing out loud came into existence 10 to the billionth second before everything else.

The act of imbuing existence with the concept of humor made god-ness get so distracted by feelings of pleasure that, when the explosion occurred, god-ness accidentally got caught in it. And that is how a drop of god consciousness got into everything. (It is also why god-ness decided that controlling one’s thoughts through meditative practice was going to play a key role in the human experience of soul and spiritual development.)

Think of it! Because of laughter, there is a drop of god consciousness in everything! Not just in people and all the other Earth stuff, but in Mars stuff, Milky Way stuff, Andromeda stuff, brown dwarf star stuff, cosmic dust stuff, black hole stuff – in everything. God consciousness is in everything everywhere.

So – and this is gospel so pay attention – even if we incarnate as a life form in some jerkwater solar system out on the fringes of the Pisces-Cetus Supercluster, we don’t have to worry about being bereft of god or laughter. Brilliant!

Of course, the bad news is that wherever we incarnate we will still be karma’s bitch.

Damn.

Still, it’s worth it for a good laugh, right?

The End

P.S. Maybe god-ness jumped into the Bang on purpose. Maybe laughter was the whole point of the Bang. We pay a high price for incarnation – samsara, dukkha, and all – so maybe laughter is god-ness’s way of giving us some ice cream when the samsaric weather gets hot?

becuase God said so

The Gospel Truth

As Told to Me by God

I now proclaim, from heretofore until forevermore, that the word "becuase" is no longer a misspelling. It is merely a disspelling, which is not as bad as a misspelling. I can make this proclamation becuase God, with whom I was conversing last night, put me in charge of spreading the Good News about Spelling. He told me that's what the word Gospel really means -- Good news about Spelling.

The Good News is that God doesn't give a shit about spelling. Which you may already know if you are an intelligent person with a good education but still get judged by spelling snobs every time your fingers are faster than your brain. But now you also know becuase I told you -- becuase you are lucky enough to have an "in" with the Spiritual Speller. That is the title God gave me last night

What?

You don't believe me?

I can prove it. You come hang out with me and I will let you talk to God with me. It might take more than one day becuase God doesn't talk to me every day. That would be just silly. I mean, he has War and Starvation, Disease and Suffering, Violence and Sorrow, and Lice on Schoolchildren's Heads with which to deal. Why would he talk to the Spiritual Speller every day?

Anyway, if what I am saying weren't true, why would God have let us think up the electronic spell checker? The spell checker is God's way of telling us that, while standardized spelling is a boon to communication and understanding, it is in no way a measure of a person's spiritual worth, depth of soul, or intelligence quotient (IQ is Lucifer’s idea, btw.)

Why Was I So Hot to Come Back?

If teh letters are all corrcte but in the wrong order it still counts and you sitll get into haeven wiht your pets and your best friend and gte to lounge by the pearly gates wachting all those really really BAD spellers get snet away. And tehn sooner or later yuor turn comes around to get a new body back on earht and "Woo hoo!" you think, "This time i am gonna get all the letters in the right order." Bt it trns out tht you shuda bn thnkn bout smthng els altogthr caus nbdy is hrdly usin vwls anymre and yr tchr gvs u rlly rlly bd grds caus u kp frgttng to leev em out. And so u dnt becm a physicist lk u plnned... bt it trns out thr r no mr of thse anywy. And u thnk... "Why was I so hot to come back? Haevan was...so... haevenly.... and no one cared if I got the letters actually in the right order.