Requiem for Verne.

Verne is gone. He has been leaving for quite a while. His shiny new real job finally took him full time. Everything is different now. My world has gone monochrome.

The Coke and Pepsi products.

Verne was in charge of beverages. There were a lot of beverages for him to be in charge of.

Water, Vitamin Water, Powerade, Monster energy drinks

Oceanspray, Realtree, Snapple, Starbucks, Red Bull.

Beer

Polar Seltzer and some crates of D&W's label soda

And dairy. He was in charge of dairy.

The dairy coolers

Verne used to say, "I am the dairy MANAGER. I have MANAGER in my title." And then I would say, "Yeah. Well. I have BOSSY BITCH in my title so GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME." Then he would throw something at me. And I would throw something at him. Once I threw a rotten strawberry at him and it hit the leg of his best beige corduroy pants. We spent a long time trying to de-stain his pants. He liked me better after that. Once he insulted a woman who works in the meat department in an unimaginably rude manner and I got so angry with him that I made a big black slash mark on his good Carhartt t-shirt with a permanent marker. He got so mad he stormed out of the store and went over to his apartment and played video games until he calmed down. I bought him a new t-shirt and he never used that language again in reference to the aforementioned meat department employee. We talked about that episode a lot. It was a pivotal moment in our relationship. He really liked me better after that.

The thing about Verne is that he is kind. He is just a kid, but he is a kind kid. Well, he was a kid when I first met him. Now he is 20 and has a big boy job. Damn him. I am an old lady and Verne is always kind to me. And he is always kind to the developmentally disabled peeps that populate Dan's social program disguised as a store. Don't misunderstand - Verne can rip you a new asshole with the best of 'em (hence the death by permanent marker of his favorite t-shirt.) But probably, if he was slicing and dicing someone with his Viper Tongue of Slashing Invective, it was becuase they deserved it.

And then, Verne's smile can melt a thousand teenage girlie hearts, any one of whom will be his when he decides it is time. I used to walk into the back room of the meat department while shouting, "NO NECKING AT WORK!!!" Just in case. You never knew with Verne.

The thing about Verne is that he got a whopping dose of charisma when he entered the world.