Monday, April 29, 2013

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Secret Plot To Sell Expired Jello Exposed

Grocery Czar Scrutinized
Accusations Made
Invective Hurled

Ok, so it's true.
I left expired Jello on the shelf.
But I didn't intend for it to actually sell.
I mean, the reason they expired is 'cause no one bought those flavors,
so it's not like I was going to order MORE
and I thought it looked so pretty --
the full range of flavors side by each, colorful and cheerful.
The only pic I have of OLD Jello. I always meant to take a better one but I never felt like it. Now, flavors are GONE.
It was a REALLY WEIRD day.

====> FIRST,
I had already decided to do a Jello Expose early Friday morning.

====> SECOND,
mid-morning, a lady came up to me holding the last four boxes of
Jello Coconut Cream Cook and Serve Pudding,
which I happened to know were expired.
So I thought, "Uh oh. Duck and cover."
BUT,
she only wanted to know if I was going to order more.
"No," I said, "becuase it expires. No one buys it."
She said, "But I can't get it anywhere else! I BUY IT!"
I told her she was holding -- GASP! -- EXPIRED JELLO.
She knew and didn't care that it was 8 months out of date,
 as long as she could be eating
Jello Coconut Cream Cook and Serve Pudding.
So, I ordered more!
A case for her and a case for me!
YUM!

====> THIRD
 You won't believe this.
Mid-afternoon there was scene at Register One.
A customer was offended at having found -- GASP! -- EXPIRED JELLO
on the shelf and complained to the Cashier On Duty.
Who told Dan.
Who implemented a
Police Action against the Jello State.
He pulled a WHOLE BASKET OF JELLO off my shelf,
called me over,
 and told me about The Expired Jello Incident At Register One.
I told him,
"Sure, there is some expired Jello but NOT THAT MUCH!!"
I hurled invective and examined the Jello in the basket.
In fact, he had READ SOME OF THE THE DATES
I N C O R R E C T L Y !!!

So I got to do the "It's Me I'm Great I'm Right HA HA" Dance.
Which was very satisfying.
But then,
I had to accept that my Jello Display was forever altered,
that it would never reach Peak Flavor Saturation again.
The grief was so overwhelming
I couldn't even bring myself to photograph my ravaged display.
I rearranged things a bit and tried to accept
 The Post-Apocalyptic Jello State.
Notice the box of Jello Chocolate Cook and Serve Pudding acting as a place holder for Jello Coconut Cream Cook and Serve Pudding, which will be arriving Monday.
So what have I learned from all of this?
The sale is giant, not the Jello.
 Never put all your Jello in one basket.
You see before you here, in this basket -- GASP! -- EXPIRED JELLO.

Friday, April 26, 2013

The Grocery Czar

I admit that it is a self-appointed title, but justifiably so.
After all, I am in charge of Pringles, Jello, Spam, Pig's Feet, and Truffles.
And GUM!
Who ELSE could possibly be qualified to be Czar??

Thursday, April 25, 2013

what NOW??

We lived with jackhammering for two days,
which caused massive dust displacement in the cellar,
customer grumpiness,
and staff irritability.
The constant noise made me sleepy and non-verbal.
I liked being relieved of the responsibility to produce words.
I liked it A LOT.
The cool thing is that now you can clearly see the steps from the 2 old front doors. Well, the far step isn't very visible in this pic. It is under the white area between the 2 windows.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

The Grizz, formerly known as Jeremiah

This is a 3 part post:
(1) Mistakes were made, corrections ensue
(2) Update on The Grizz, formerly known as Jeremiah
(3) The Secret Buzzer
(1)
Corrections
NOT Jeremiah Johnson
GRIZZLY ADAMS!!!
I screwed up his nickname
becuase my brain delivered to me
the wrong movie.
I am pretty sure that something is wrong with my wiring.
(2)
Staff Update
Grizz is doing well and has adjusted to working indoors.

He is occasionally summoned by a member of his fan base to pump some gas. Here is how it happens:

If you are working register, someone might come in and look at you with a beseeching, slightly apologetic air. Being a kind and empathetic individual you give the suffering customer your full attention and ask, "Can I help you?"

The customer then whimpers, usually with a slightly quavering voice, "Is Grizzly here? Could he pump some gas for me?"

You answer reassuringly, "Sure!" and...

(3)
The No-Longer-Secret Secret Buzzer
... ring the buzzer 3 times,
which is the pre-self-serve code for "WHERE THE HELL IS GRIZZ, CUSTOMERS ARE WAITING AT THE PUMPS??!!?"
Pay no attention to the fairy wing. It has no relevance in this application of the photo.
Ideally, Griz hears you and comes loping up. His demeanor changes when he sees the nervous customer. He stands straighter, walks faster, and becomes Confidence Incarnate. His admirer radiates gratitude and relief. The two of them walk out to the pumps together.

It is a wonderful thing to see.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Better Days Are Coming

For Chickie Chick and for everyone, I hope.

Monday, April 15, 2013

Friday was U G H

Like... what happened to SPRING??
Sheesh.
People kept coming in
and hanging around the registers
and talking about the roads
and drinking coffee
and not wanting to go back outside.

I don't blame 'em.
When I skulked across the street to the bank,
the slush was ankle deep.
I had to do it becuase it was P A Y D AY!!
YAY!!
 
Someone complained about the new self-serve gas -- how you have to get out and get wet becuase there is no canopy.
BUT
there is no canopy becuase of the anti-canopy zoning.
This is an anti-canopy town.
We all thought that the pro-canopy lobby should take it up with the Select Board at the next town meeting,
not with the innocent, hard working, and loyal employees at the store.
Ha ha.

Check out the Spring in Vermont label.
Apparently, I have been here before.
Sigh.
Spring in Vermont tests your faith.
I swear.

Don't Try To Carry Your Laptop Upstairs To Watch TV In Bed While Balancing A Bowl Of Frosting And A Pack Of Gluten-Free Graham Crackers After Drunk Cooking For A Couple Hours


The dinner turned out really yummy.
The dessert in bed thing didn't turn out so good, though.

Saturday, April 6, 2013

A Diversion While I Process The Great Tragedy Of My Broken Laptop

Last month I went to Long Island via the Throg's Neck Bridge,
which was the brain child of Robert Moses,
built in 1961.
Taken from the dashboard of my car.
Aerial photo stolen from Wikipedia.
Robert Moses was an incredible urban planner/politician who made NYC and Long Island a GREAT place for cars and a CRAPPY place for public transportation. He was a deeply bigoted man who thought that if you couldn't afford a car you didn't deserve to go anywhere. 


There is a great view of NYC from the bridge.

Out the right car window. WOOT!! I even got the Empire State Building on the far left!! That is the Whitestone Bridge in the center (also a Robert Moses brainchild, built in the 1940's.)

I came back via the ferry.
The ferry out of Port Jeff harbor. It was so rough that the upper deck was closed.
Uh oh. Hide my camera.

Friday, March 29, 2013

Store Sugaring Report and The Promised Sugaring Walkabout.

The sap is running again.

The thing I noticed yesterday was that some of the people who came in to buy sugaring stuff, mostly containers, seemed stressed. They were in a hurry. Like... IF I DON'T GET BACK SOON THE SAP BUCKETS WILL OVERFLOW!!!!

The other thing I noticed was that the sugaring folk were chatty about their sugaring experiences so far this season. I heard a lot about numbers of gallons produced and some about the quality of the syrup.

The thing I noticed TODAY about the sugaring people is that they looked TIRED. They must have been boiling all night. There is an unwritten sugaring law: "As long as the sap is running you MUST collect and you MUST boil."
This was delivered today:

So I didn't get any pics of local sugar shacks,
but here are some pics of a local guy sugaring in his driveway.
He usually gives us a quart or two as a gifts throughout the year.
(He also makes wine.)
(And keeps bees for honey. He sells his honey at the store.)

This is the new way to collect sap. Blue plastic tubing is attached to the taps on the trees and runs all through the woods to a central collection vat. We sell lots of those 5 gallon plastic buckets for collecting sap and we have huge spools of the blue plastic tubing out back in hardware.

The Iconic Sap Bucket
This is the old way. You have to haul each bucket to a big tub to empty the sap. We still sell this type of sap bucket becuaes people with 5 taps and little kids like to use it. It is picturesque.

The Iconic Maple Syrup Tin
This is my favorite syrup containing device.
It shows the old way of collecting sap.
It is not old or anything. You can still buy syrup in these tins
I stole this pic. I forgot to photo one at the store today.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Amazing LIVE demo!!

Something BRAND NEW came in today for the Bell Department (Wednesday is hardware delivery day.)


The hardware guy said they were "sports cow bells" for making noise at baseball games.

I was doing something...

... and thought I ought to light the candle on the window sill.

Then I thought I ought to take a picture of it.

Becuase experiencing something isn't enough.

You have to photo it as well... to make it... count?

Then I saw the chicken coop out the window.

And I thought about Henny Penny all alone out there and how she is always cheerful and clucky and seems so pleased by the meager bits of lettuce that I chuck on the ground for her.

I should try to be more chicken-like, I think.