Once upon a time, way back before the Big Bang,
god-ness was the only thing there was. God-ness was different than nothing, but
god-ness was not something either— it was just god-ness having god-thoughts
That went on for a few billion years. Not that there
was measurable time. Time is a post-Bang concept, of course. So is measuring,
for that matter.
God-ness was interested in nothingness as a theoretical
concept and recognized that if there was no “something” then “nothing” could
not exist. God-ness passed a few more billion years contemplating this juxtaposition
of nothingness and something-ness. Then god-ness thought up a way to make stuff
exist. God-ness invented the Big Bang!
God-ness took a good long time considering the good
and evil which would accompany the advent of materialism, and pondering whether
or not existence was worth always feeling late, once measurable time came on the
You’d think materialism and time would be enough to
stop god-ness from using the Big Bang, but even the divine god-head can’t
resist a new toy. Things got really fun when it was time for the Bang because god-ness
thought of something so funny that laughing out loud came into existence 10 to
the billionth second before everything else.
The act of imbuing existence with the concept of humor
made god-ness get so distracted by feelings of pleasure that, when the
explosion occurred, god-ness accidentally got caught in it. And that is how a
drop of god consciousness got into everything. (It is also why god-ness decided
that controlling one’s thoughts through meditative practice was going to play a
key role in the human experience of soul and spiritual development.)
Think of it! Because of laughter, there is a drop of god
consciousness in everything! Not just in people and all the other Earth stuff,
but in Mars stuff, Milky Way stuff, Andromeda stuff, brown dwarf star stuff,cosmic dust stuff, black hole
stuff – in everything. God consciousness is in everything everywhere.
So – and this is gospel so pay attention – even if we
incarnate as a life form in some jerkwater solar system out on the fringes of the
don’t have to worry about being bereft of god or laughter. Brilliant!
Of course, the bad news is that wherever we incarnate we
will still be karma’s bitch.
Still, it’s worth it for a good laugh, right?
P.S. Maybe god-ness jumped into the Bang on purpose.
Maybe laughter was the whole point of the Bang. We pay a high price for
incarnation – samsara, dukkha, and all – so maybe laughter is god-ness’s way of
giving us some ice cream when the samsaric weather gets hot?
In the centre of the road stood an enormous tulip-tree, which towered like a giant above all the other trees of the neighborhood, and formed a kind of landmark. Its limbs were gnarled and fantastic, large enough to form trunks for ordinary trees, twisting down almost to the earth, and rising again into the air.